Lyrics

His photo was quite handsome but a decade or two old
Another had a real cool car but mouth filled up with gold
Landon loved his labrador, all the way to jail
Greg said he's a doctor but my kidney's not for sale
(my kidney's not for sale)
[chorus]
First dates blow so I thought up a plan
I'll build a time machine and go and steal my own man
Future me can suck it, I'll help her kick the bucket,
Cooking steak for second date with bloody frying pan

Ooooo Oooooo
Ooooo Ooooo
Cooking steak for second date with bloody frying pan

[verse]
I got to work and turned some screws, the giga-lectro-voltage blew,
I slapped the base and inter-face Just like a good third date would do.
She whirred to life my Shelly-stein, a work of art for all gal-kind
What are these talks of paradox...
Sorry I didn't catch that I'm off traveling through tiiiime!
[chorus]
First dates blow so I thought up a plan
I'll build a time machine and go and steal my own man
Future me can suck it, I'll help her kick the bucket,
Cooking steak for second date with bloody frying pan

Ooooo Oooooo
Ooooo Ooooo
Cooking steak for second date with bloody frying pan

[bridge]
I bonked my future self right in back of the head
Got sucked into a vortex and thought maybe I'm dead
A voice in the darkness called "how do you do?"
"I'm not gonna go on a first date with you."
"No wait" he garbled "if you don't stay you'll forget"
"We had a lovely lunch and then the timeline reset"
I may be to blame for this apocalyptic state
But at least I finally found my promised second date
[chorus]
First dates blow so I thought up a plan
I built a time machine and went and stole my own man
Future me can suck it, I helped her kick the bucket,
Cooking steak for second date with bloody frying pan

shooooow me shoggoth
show me show me shoggoth
shooooow me shoggoth
a good time
(a good time!)